Humans are made to be nomadic. That’s my excuse when I try to explain to anyone who wonders why I move around the country every six months. ”It’s in my blood, man.” Every once in a while I act like so many of my friends and find a place or person with which/whom to settle and I linger in that existence almost like a kid pretending he’s something that he’s not. It’s been a while since I’ve been there and feel like another one of those periods in my life is pulling at my ankles again.
This new little house is a place I can see myself holding onto for a while and gives me thoughts of letting the guard down and staying put for a while, trusting my feelings, believing in people near me, giving a shit about where I am.
Did some of that weird domestication stuff today: bought a snow shovel, a rug, a used microwave (I’ve never bought a microwave in my life), and some household tools for silly things like hanging art and fixing a door. Had my friends, Dennis and Mary over for dinner last night. I actually had to go out and purchase one extra plate because I only had two. Thankfully, and oddly, they had given me three wine glasses a couple months ago, so I bought a nice merlot. The company and conversation was nice. Actually, I needed it.
The contentment I feel here is apparent in that I actually want to be home, as opposed to going out to eat all the time - yeah, I do get antsy, like I always have (as soon as I’m doing something or at some place, I want to be doing something else or somewhere else). But I’m enjoying just sitting quietly and soaking up my thoughts more than usual. I’ve always thought too much. My mother regularly told me I was an old person in an 8 year old’s, 9 year old’s, 10 year old’s, etc. body. I see that and have never fought it, even when I’ve driven my mind into high frequencies of worry over things out of my control. It’s in my blood, man. I think and move around, a lot. It gives me a passion for life - the non settling life. It’s a spirit, a spark that I won’t give up and have morphed into a positive personality trait over the years.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have dinner to make, some writing to do, and some work to catch up on. More tomorrow.